Two years after our miscarriage in 2011, I finally came to terms with our loss. So what happens next? We wait. As I walk along this years long process, I have learned to see the beauty in waiting. This is the story of the season I learned to cherish the now.
The Blessing in waiting
Being a mom brings its good days and its bad days. To be more accurate, moms live on a moment to moment basis dealing with chores, meltdowns, time outs and cuddles. There are moments when I long to give our son a sibling so he has a playmate, and there are other times when I’m surrounded by so much chaos I praise God I don’t have another child to deal with. It’s in those chaotic moments when I see the blessing in waiting and know that God knows me better than I know myself.
The Purpose in waiting
While I have been walking the road to growing our family, I don’t just sit there waiting for the “stork” to knock on my door. I know there are better things I can do with my time. The most rewarding of which has nothing to do with me and everything to do with others. Serving others through my mom group and through this blog have given me purpose in waiting.
What I find in serving other moms in my church’s mom group is that other moms have struggles too. Some similar and some entirely different from my own, so I cannot waste my pain. It needs to be used to encourage others to work passed their own pain and seek a closer walk with God who carries us through all our pains. Blogging has also filled me up in so many other ways. I have a creative outlet where I can give hope and encouragement to all of you through my real life struggles in home and life, and through sharing fantastic finds in technology. Knowing I am using my gifts to bless others is knowing that I am right where I belong.
The Contentment in waiting
The most important lesson I have learned while growing our family is that I need to be content no matter how much or how little I have. That goes for possessions and status as well as children. Family moments become sweeter, date nights are more precious and time with friends is more cherished because we see life with different eyes. My favorite quote is “Do what you can where you are with what you have”.
More than the short time we have here, I find contentment in waiting because I know that when we do have another child, I will look back on these days and miss them. I don’t want to look back on these days and have regrets that we didn’t take advantage of being a small family of three. I want to look at each moment with fresh eyes, an open heart and a content spirit. It won’t always be this way. Cherishing now is what so many of us miss.
Whatever season of life you are in, are you taking moments to cherish now? Most of us are not where we hoped we would be, but most of us also look back on days past and regret not making the most of it. Where ever you are, bloom where you are planted.