Earlier in the series I shared how letting my husband into my process allowed us to journey together through our first miscarriage and eventually this next one as well. What I failed to share enough about this week is the tremendous amount of prayer and support we received since our cry for prayer went out. This is the story of the season we let others in on our journey and the impact it had.
News of our story spread like wild-fire and we saw the response of those we called to pray. Even though my own cries to God felt solitary at times, I knew and felt the prayers of our prayer warriors carry us through that week. They deserve credit for keeping me sane.
Blessed by Others
Something strange happens when you let others in on your journey. They begin to journey with you. Not only that, but they want to help you and bless you. We are used to being the ones who serve, so when we were the one being served, it felt awkward.
To help us during our time of loss, a meal train was started by a dear friend of mine from church. A meal train is when folks sign up to bring your family a meal so you don’t have to worry about putting dinner on the table. When I told my hubby about it he said, “So people are just going to bring us food? Then just leave? And they’ll do this for us for three weeks? Why?”
It’s weird being on the receiving end of blessing, at first. After a couple of days of this it was nice. After a couple of weeks we thought we could get used to this. As our time of meals crept closer to the end we finally saw the blessing and appreciated the gesture even more. It transcended the superficial and entered the spiritual.
Because these meals kept coming we knew that people were praying for us. They prayerfully prepared meals for us that we didn’t have to ourselves. They allowed us time to be thankful for a home cooked meal. They allowed me to connect with the giver in a way that might not happen otherwise. I learned that we were not alone in our journey of loss.
Another amazing blessing that came our way was the opportunity to see our baby one last time. A new friend whose family owns a 4D ultrasound business offered to have us come in for a complimentary session. We went in knowing this would be our time to say goodbye before having to part ways.
During the ultrasound I kept finding myself saying hi to our baby, not goodbye. We were just getting to know each other. It was the sweetest of times for us. Time seemed to stand still in a different way. It was as if The Lord was holding time for us so we could hang on just a bit longer.
We felt joy in seeing our baby again, the images were very much the same, we saw the same abnormalities, but we interacted with our baby. The appointment was light-hearted until the ultrasound techs left us alone in the room with the baby’s photo on the wall. It was then that our joy was cut short and sorrow washed over me and I realized again that our baby would leave us all too soon.
Ripples of Our Journey
Previously I talked about a close friend I lost touch with that also lost their baby in the second trimester of their pregnancy. This set off alarms in my own mind and set me up for the months to come.
Once news of our loss spread to her, she quickly reached out to me and like any true friendship, it felt like no time had passed at all. Her story was very much like mine. They have one child already and were trying to grow their family. They found out they were expecting, then at their “gender reveal” ultrasound the bomb went off. Our paths were like mirror images of each other. Even down to the questions of worry for our eldest child, we were one in mind. I was not alone. We talked for hours about what I should expect and how we both felt. But most importantly, she spoke truth to me and left me with hope. Needless to say, I will not be so quick to lose touch with this friend again.
Another friend was so touched by our journey and the unexplainable peace we exhibited that she asked her own circle of prayer warriors to pray for us. We had strangers praying for us. People we may never meet on this side of Heaven were reaching to God on our behalf. Later my friend shared that a written prayer for our family would travel to the holy land of Israel and be placed at the memorial tomb of Jesus Christ. What!?! This never would have happened if we grieved in silence and solitude.
For those of you who prayed for us, a million times – thank you. Your prayers got me out of bed every morning and sleeping soundly at night. Your prayers kept me away from a crippling depression. Your prayers brought my family closer to Jesus than we ever could on our own in a time when we needed it most.
So now I turn it to you, my readers, my friends. I beg you to let others in on your journey. Make sure they will speak truth into your life, that will make all the difference. I’m not suggesting you’ll all get a free meal out of it. I am suggesting that you will discover you are not alone.